How you might be feeling after a diagnosis.
When a family member or friend is diagnosed with a chronic, life-limiting or life-threatening illness, it can feel overwhelming and you may experience a range of emotions, including denial, anger, guilt, anxiety and stress. In addition to worrying about the well-being of your care recipient, you may be worried about how the diagnosis will impact your life as you adjust to your new role of caregiving.
Emotional Reactions
Denial is themind’s way of coping with painful facts. In some ways, a short period of denial can be helpful because it can give you time to feel less overwhelmed by the news.
Anger is a common response to something that feels very unfair. You may feel anger toward the disease itself, healthcare professionals, or friends and family who don’t understand what you’re going through. Sometimes people get angry instead of expressing other emotions like fear or sadness. You might want to reassure friends and family that if you seem angry or moody, it’s not because of them.
Anxiety is a general sense of unease or worry. Stress is the body’s way of reacting to something that we think is dangerous or that is a challenge to us. Anxiety and/or stress are normal reactions to a diagnosis.
Guilt is a common emotion for many caregivers. You may experience feelings of guiltfor being healthy while the person you care for is ill, or guilt that you can’t make them feel better. Remember, the illness is not your fault, and you are not responsible for the person’s recovery.
Relief is another emotion people sometimes feel, which can be confusing. Many people feel relief because it validates what your care recipient has been experiencing, and often a diagnosis can help establish clear next steps.
Coping Tips
Get information
After a diagnosis, you may wish to take some time to process the news. Everyone’s experiences and reactions will be different. When you are ready to do so, learn as much as you can. If you are able to, go to medical appointments with your care recipient, and bring a list of questions with you for their healthcare team. Research the condition or illness, what to expect and ways to cope. Check out our tips for how to find credible information. You can also reach out to our 24/7 helpline at 1-833-416-2273 (CARE) for help accessing resources.
Talk it out
Talking with others can help you process the news and can be a first step in getting emotional and practical support. Many people find it easier to talk to a third-party – someone who doesn’t know you or your care recipient, such as a counsellor or social worker. Other young caregivers can also be a great source of advice, tips and emotional support. Join our peer support group.
Share the news
A practical strategy may be to tell a few key people and ask them to break the news to everyone else. Because the diagnosis will impact many aspects of your life, you may want to share the news with your teachers or professors. They may be able to extend deadlines or help connect you to support. You may also want to alert your employer to the change in your home situation – they may be able to be more flexible with your schedule.
It’s important to know that who you tell, and how much of your story you share, is up to you. For example, you could just say that a family member or friend has been diagnosed with a chronic illness and that they will require your support which may impact your studies/work from time to time.
Get help:
- Reach out to ConnexOntario for free health services information for people experiencing problems with mental illness, alcohol or drugs at connexontario.ca or call 1-866-531-2600. This is available 24/7.
- Contact the Kids Help Phone – visit kidshelphone.ca, call 1-800-668-6868 or text 686868. This is available 24/7 and offers support through live chat, text, and phone.
- Connect with other young caregivers in our online peer support group or be part of the conversation in our online forum
- Call our 24/7 helpline or talk to us in our live chat to find resources in your community.
Sources:
http://www.als411.ca/eng/teens/When_Your_Parent_Has_ALS.pdf
https://www.cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/living-with-cancer/your-emotions-and-cancer/?region=on
